wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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