I don't think brook has ever known best
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
