your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We had sex on a dog bed..
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
