Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
All the doctor said was why
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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