Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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