What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
