I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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