Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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