At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
