Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
