everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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