the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize