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i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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