Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
