I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
