Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
be right there i have to get my cape
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize