I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
