I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Randomize
