Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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