Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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