I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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