dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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