I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
be right there i have to get my cape
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
