I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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