nut hugger
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
