Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
