i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
