he wants to bone in the snuggie
My cat gives me a boner
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
