That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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