I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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