He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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