i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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