i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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