Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
