i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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