i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
