it hurts more in the daytime
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
