She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
