I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Randomize
