sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
