What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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