I'm going to jail i love you
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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