I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
