I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
What a dumb baby whore.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
