i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
