You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
