if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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