By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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