the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
