His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
