after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
