maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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