We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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