Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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