i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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