I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
