Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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