3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
