Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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