Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
