Swine flu. Run for my life!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
