dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
