marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
