I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
