I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
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so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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