Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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