WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
my shit smells like andre
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
