Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
