you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
