my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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