We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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