I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
