Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
